I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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