Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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