some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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