Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
