I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i've created a new STD.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
