Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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