I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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