just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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