You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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