They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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