We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
