Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Buhtt sex?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Shame - the story of my life.
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