But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
