if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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