On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
