i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
