I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
