"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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