I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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