The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize