everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You were trust falling into bushes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
