Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"it" just moved
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize