After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
