Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
did i walk over a car last night?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
