She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
