He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
