Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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