operation harelip BJ is a go
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
