so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
