So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We talked him into tasing himself.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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