mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
