If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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