O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize