If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
