I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
