SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think I sprained my soul last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
