im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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