he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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