The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
