I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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