So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There r osticjed everywhere
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
