Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
is it fun? or sober?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
