Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
