I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
