you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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