yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
