Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
