Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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