Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
