Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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