New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
