yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
