i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
