There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
