Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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