hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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