Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize