omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
