i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
