3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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