Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
